


Five times Jim Embarrassed Bones and One time that Bones Embarrassed Jim.

by Corrie71



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Embarrassment, M/M, Marriage Proposal
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 17:30:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 916
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1696517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Corrie71/pseuds/Corrie71
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My first 5+1. Many thanks to WeWillSpockYou for the prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Five times Jim Embarrassed Bones and One time that Bones Embarrassed Jim.

**FIRST:**

Just after they’d finally become a couple, still at that lovey-dovey, stupid with lust stage where they couldn’t spend more than a few moments without touching each other, Jim embarrassed Bones for the first time. Since Bones often worked long shifts in medbay on the weekends, Jim would pop by to bring him meals and to seduce him into very inappropriate behavior for the resident doctor on-call. The first time they took advantage of a empty treatment room for a bit of afternoon delight, a very mussed Jim slipped out the door behind Bones. 

“See that patient over there?” 

Jim turned to see an elderly man, looking like nothing so much as a snapping turtle, gaping at them from a biobed. He waved cheerfully.

“Hope you feel better! You’re in good hands with Doctor Sexy here.”

Bones frogmarched him out of the medbay. “What? What’d I do?”

“That’s Admiral Edwards.”

“The head of Starfleet Medical?”

“Yep. My boss just heard you call me Doctor Sexy. Thanks, Jim.”

**SECOND:**

Before Bones, Jim never really had a romantic relationship. Sex—sure—lots of it. But he’d never had anyone to do big romantic gestures for. He determined to make their first Valentine’s Day one for the record books.

And he did, just perhaps not exactly as he intended. 

Though it took weeks of work and significant amounts of bribery, flattery, and flirting on his part, he got the surgical team to agree to help him with his surprise. 

Jim, dressed in a tuxedo, got the surgical team to roll him into the operating room, where Bones waited, scrubbed in for his next surgery. Jim reclined on the hover-stretcher, surrounded by long stemmed red roses. When he caught sight of Bones, Jim began to croon _Fly Me to the Moon_ into a portable microphone.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Bones!” 

Bones flushed and covered his face with his hands. When the surgical staff joined Jim on the chorus, Bones stomped out of the OR, yelling, “That’s not even our song, asshole!”

**THIRD:**

For their second anniversary, Jim planned to propose. He’d booked a restaurant and bought rings. He wanted to have his words just right when he asked so he’d drafted multiple proposals. 

And accidentally sent an Academy-wide broadcast of the following early draft:

“I love you down to your bones  
I love each sigh, kiss, and moan.  
I’ll love you forever, around the clock,  
for you as well as your massive cock.” 

Perhaps unsurprisingly, Bones declined. 

**FOURTH:**

After the Narada incident, Bones hated to be interviewed. On their first televised interview together, Jim, trying to calm Bones’ nerves, leaned over and said, “I’m wearing those red lace panties you bought me. When we get home, I want you to take them off me. With your teeth.” 

Unfortunately, for Starfleet, their new hotshot Captain, and his mortified CMO, Bones wore a hot mic at that time, broadcasting Jim’s little pep talk. 

Live.

The stunned anchor gaped at them for three seconds before giving them a dazzling smile. “So, the rumors are true then. You are a couple.”

Bones shook his head and said, “Not anymore.”

“He’s kidding.” Jim covered smoothly. “We’re in the middle of planning our wedding.”

“The hell we are.”

**FIFTH:**

On their third anniversary, they were just a few days into their post-Narada PR cruise. Jim, still determined to marry the very resistant love of his life, contacted Bones in sickbay, using the super-duper commo buttons on his plush new captain’s chair.

“You know, if you just agree to marry me, I’ll give you a blow job every morning. Just the way you like it.”

“Captain…” Uhura interrupted. “You’re broadcasting on a ship wide channel.”

Twenty seconds later, a crimson faced Bones burst out of the turbo lift and shouted, “Learn to use the commo on that chair, infant!”

“Turning that red can’t be good for your blood pressure, Bones.”

**PLUS ONE:**

It was nearly impossible to embarrass Jim. First, his flexible tacticians mind was endlessly creative and adaptable enough to turn most situations around to his advantage. Second, he was such a total exhibitionist that nothing sexual would do it. He’d be proud as a peacock instead. Even though they were together, and Bones had no doubt of his faithfulness and fidelity to him, Jim was still terribly proud of his reputation as the Casanova of Starfleet Academy. It took Bones months and years of plotting to find just the right opportunity for ultimate and total humiliation. 

And then it was a total and complete accident.

After Khan, Starfleet PR booked most of the Enterprise bridge crew into as many publicity venues as possible. Just before the Enterprise departed on their five year mission, the bridge crew got the biggest interview of all—a spot on _Good Morning, Universe_. At the close of the interview, the interviewer asked each crew member to give a one-word description of Captain Kirk. 

Chekov said, “Kind.”

Sulu said, “Smart.”

Scotty said, “Creative.”

Uhura said, “Funny.”

Spock said, “Heroic.”

And then it was Bones’ turn. He turned to look at Jim, already blushing from the kind compliments from his crew, and he said, “Husband.” 

Jim gasped and said, “Does that mean you’re accepting my marriage proposal, Doctor McCoy?”

Bones nodded and smiled at Jim.

The bridge crew surrounded them, calling out well-wishes and congratulations. Bones cuddled Jim close, feeling the heat from his face pressed against his neck and thought all those times that Jim embarrassed him were well worth it.


End file.
